Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I'm Going to Put Everything in Terms of "Real Dollars"

I'm just going to lay it all out there, because this is where my heart is right now.
About two years ago, I read a book by Shane Claiborne and that book changed my mindset. I was really challenged by the idea that Christ did not intend for Christianity to look the way that many within the church would have us believe. I realized that I could not continue to live pursuing the same things that this world pursued, loving the things that this world loves and still call myself a follower of Christ. I feel like God really calls us as believers to be intentional and to think beyond what this world accepts. I started this year feeling like I wanted to take whatever God gave me and let Him be glorified in it. I was elected senior class president, which was a role that I was not initially eager to take on. I signed up because of Jen Acosta, third leg of the tripod, who graduated last December leaving me and Angela behind in the little office across from Wanda's. So this year I had really hoped to do some good with this position that God has blessed me with. At first I was eager to connect with the people that I was meant to be serving, overjoyed at the opportunity to be intentional and form these new relationships. Most of all, I desired to keep my eyes on the One who brought me here, because I was certain that He desired to be active and moving amongst my peers. After talking to other seniors, I realized that I was not the only person who desired to do something of eternal significance, something that would not only give people positive memories of school but also shift their mindsets and elevate their souls to a new understanding of what Christ did for us and what that sacrifice means we are to do for others.
Angela and I had to pick a senior gift. We had $20,000 to spend, and believe me the significance of that number is not lost on me. I prayed so hard. I desperately wanted our gift to let people know that CBU's class of 2008 was about kingdom things, not about another fountain. After meeting with Kristen White, we decided to propose a language lab and international center. This center would have several computers with language tools in the six major languages spoken around the world (including English to help the international students become more familiar). It would also have the Culture Shock series and other books to benefit not only those coming in from other countries but also those going out on ISPs or as Journeymen. We had also hoped to include other seniors by having art majors come in and cover the walls in images of international and eternal significance. After making our proposal, we felt really confident. However it was rejected by Dr. Ellis and the executive board only a few days later with the suggestion that we buy a new cart for Provider in order to help them mobilize on campus. I felt crushed, but we pressed on. Angela and I decided that we wanted to host a benefit with our surplus funds where the money that we had would go to a charity based on the number of seniors in attendance. That idea was rejected this week as well. I feel horrible. I was so desperate to give God something this year, to make a contribution to His kingdom that would be lasting. I am still really hopeful that we will be able to find some way to spend this money on something that honors the Lord and benefits people, but I guess that the thing that I really need to focus on is that it's not about me or what dirty rags I have to bring to God at the end of this year, it's about His glory and all that He has done for us. Nothing that I do or say is going to add or take away from Him or His ultimate plans. God is in control and all things will work together so that He might be glorified, we are really blessed that He invites us to be a part of that.

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